The last
two days, Wednesday and Thursday, February 25th and 26th,
have been among the longest, and certainly the most physically taxing, of our
four months in Blantyre. On Wednesday, we
attended our first Malawian funeral service, for Esther, an 18 year old sister
who was a church member. What we
thought would be a short commitment ended up consuming the entire day. Thursday was devoted to assisting Elder and
Sister Bodily, the welfare/humanitarian missionaries for the Zambia Lusaka
Mission, in distributing bags of maize meal, cow peas, a soy based relish, and
salt, and bottles of cooking oil, to flood displaced victims in temporary camps
in the Chikwawa District, about an hour and a half drive south of
Blantyre. We had a couple weeks
forewarning about that project, and it ended up being as arduous as we
anticipated, and as interesting and rewarding as you might expect. Right now I am close to being as physically
exhausted, and emotionally keyed up, as I have been during our mission; and
though weary to my bone, it is hard to sleep.
We have lots of pictures of the trip to Chikwawa, but none of the
funeral.
Carole will
write about the refugee project, in a separate blog post, so I will focus
instead on Wednesday’s funeral. Prior to
Wednesday, Carole and I had had only a passing experience with Malawian
funerals. Several times in the last
month, we have witnessed funeral processions in Chilobwe, one of the
communities where some of our members live.
We had heard that Malawi weddings and funerals are each lengthy elaborate
affairs, often involving whole communities and hundreds of people, and
extremely expensive for the affected families.
Each of the
events we witnessed followed a similar pattern. At the head of the procession were eight to
ten men, some carrying small bunches of branches, serving as a vanguard for the
funeral procession, sweeping the branches side to side, forewarning bystanders. The proper protocol is for bystanders to show
respect by pausing and then standing off by the side of the road until the
entire funeral caravan has completely passed by. Towards the end of the convoy were several
cars, followed by an open flatbed truck, full of mourners, carrying the coffin;
otherwise all of the participants are on foot.
If there is formal order in which mourners file, the pattern is not
readily apparent to us. We assume,
however, the cars and flatbed truck are reserved primarily to carry family members,
close friends, and community leaders.
The size of the funeral parties is difficult to gauge, but in each case,
it has taken the convoy at least five minutes to pass. So I would estimate the groups to be well in
excess of a 100 to 150 people, comprised of all age groups, from mothers with
infants to slightly bent seniors, young girls and boys to adults and
adolescents. But apart from these brief
encounters, we had no feel for a traditional Malawian funeral.
While
Esther was a member of the church, no one in our district (consisting of the
four branches in Blantyre) knew her. Apparently
she had joined the church some time ago while living in Lilongwe, Malawi's
capital, a five hour drive from Blantyre. We don’t know quite why she was in
Blantyre, but she recently had come here, either to visit or for medical
treatment. We were later told that she
had a grandfather who was also a church member, but otherwise none of her
family was in the church or appears to know anything about the church. But because of her church membership, the
church was asked to handle the funeral arrangements—including a vigil the night
before the church service, the formal church service, getting flowers for the
grave, transportation to the cemetery, and the gravesite program.
The morning
of the funeral service we, together with several of the other full-time missionaries,
were invited at the last moment to attend the service. The branch members in charge of the program
must have been worried that the branches wouldn’t have enough people out to
show proper support for Esther’s family.
We were pleased to come out and were, of course, curious about how the
service itself would be handled—never having attended one before. Brother Banda, the Elders Quorum President of
the Zingwangwa Branch, conducted the meeting in the chapel, while President
Kanjala, the Branch President of the Blantyre Second Branch, presided. Sisters from one of the other branches
arranged for bouquets of flowers.
Somewhat to our surprise, the chapel was full when the program began,
which surely would have been a comfort to Esther’s family.
As it
turned out, the church service itself was very familiar, following what for us
is a typical format for Mormon funerals—opening and closing prayers,
congregational songs, and two talks.
Both speakers were church members from Lilongwe, where Esther had joined
the church, so they knew her and were able to personalize their comments. Since the talks were given in Chichewa,
without translation to English, we don’t know what was said. But whatever they said, both speakers spoke forcefully
and without notes. (Incidentally, we
have been surprised with the ease with which many church members speak in
public.) Later I was told both addresses
had been basic doctrinal talks, outlining the plan of salvation and our hope of
the resurrection and of a better life to the world to come. Neither was, however, a eulogy as we understand
it. The program itself finished in about an hour,
ending shortly before noon. Carole and I
had appointments scheduled for the afternoon and expected to take off right
after the service to get lunch prior to our afternoon commitments.
The
familiarity of the morning’s activities quickly gave way to an afternoon that
was totally different from anything we expected. Just as we were getting ready to leave the
Blantyre chapel, Brother Chinomwe (a counselor in the Blantyre First Branch)
asked if we could provide “transport” for several church members to the
gravesite service. After family and church
members had crowded into a private bus, a flatbed truck, and several cars to
travel to the cemetery, there not sufficient seats or standing slots for
everyone wanting to go to the cemetery.
We said we could help out, but would not be available to help with the
return trip because of our afternoon appointments. We assumed, and this ended up being a flawed
assumption, the cemetery was close by (somewhere within the city limits), and
we could easily make the round trip in time for our meetings. We also assumed those we were driving
wouldn’t be stranded by our heading back to town after dropping them off,
because they could get a ride to Blantyre’s city center using one of the many
mini buses servicing Blantyre, Limbe and the surrounding communities.
Recently,
we have found there can, and frequently are, major difficulties in
understanding precisely what is wanted or needed by Malawian church members
when they ask for our help. Rarely is it
clear what they want. Language may be
part of the problem, but I don’t think it accounts for all of the
misunderstandings. Often we think they
are asking for a little help, only to discover they have something quite
different in mind. What we anticipate is
a 30 minute drive or time commitment ends up being two to four times as long. Moreover, requests often come with no advance
notice. Wednesday was just such an
occasion.
[Why they
are not clearer about the extent or nature of their needs—and precisely what
aid they are seeking from us--is a good question. Perhaps they are not clear because they know
we, as full-time missionaries, are here to serve, so what does it matter
whether it takes us much longer to help out than might normally be
expected. Perhaps they are accustomed to
helping one another without imposing time limits or otherwise limiting the
nature of their help. If they treat one
another that way, why should they, they may think, expect any less of us—we
should be equally willing to devote time, to be flexible in readjusting our
schedules, to break commitments to others, and to make personal
sacrifices. It is also possible they
operate from a bit of an aid-dependent mind set: Westerners have the resources and means to
help; they have helped in the past; so there is no reason why they shouldn’t
help out now. Moreover, Westerners can
afford to help (even after helping, the Westerners will have more than enough
for themselves), so why should they complain, even if the aid sought goes far
beyond what the Malawians would ever ask of one another. Fear may also be a motivating factor: they
may be afraid that we will not help out if we “really” understand the scope of
the help being sought: best to be unclear and to count on the Westerners not
backing out. There is no harm in pushing
the envelope.]
In any
event, what we initially thought of as no more than an hour commitment (a quick
drive to the cemetery) morphed into an all-day adventure, one we thoroughly
enjoyed and one which I imagine we will remember for the rest of our
lives. The cemetery was not in Blantyre,
but instead in a small village, called Mpemba, about 20 kilometers south of
Blantyre, off the main road from Blantyre to Chikwawa. As we drove south toward Mpemba, we found
ourselves driving into increasingly heavy cloud cover, accompanied by heavy
rain. The drive out of town, on both the
paved road, and muddy country lane, took us the better part of an hour. By the time we got to the end of the line
(which was in the middle of nowhere), it was evident we could not leave our
passengers stranded there--we were miles from a paved road where they could
catch a mini-bus back into Blantyre. So
whether we wanted to stay or not, we were committed for the long haul.
The last
several kilometers of the drive were on red clay, rutted roads, climbing
steadily up through maize fields and past clusters of small homemade brick
homes, some with thatched roofs. Short of the village, the bus, flatbed truck
and cars pulled off the single lane road, disgorging their passengers for the final
walk to the cemetery. Driving closer to
our destination was no longer possible, owing to the narrowness of the lane and
the slickness of the path. As we got to
the parking area, we could see the funeral party stretched out in a long file,
slowly winding its way further uphill toward the village. By this time, the weather had further
deteriorated, the rain coming down heavily and the footing on the path becoming
extremely treacherous. Some in the
funeral party had umbrellas, but most did not.
Yet inspite of everything, they trudged ahead, seemingly oblivious to
the rotten weather, the mud, and wetness.
Unfortunately,
Carole and I were ill-prepared for an afternoon of rainy weather. Early Wednesday morning, just before heading
to the funeral, we were forced to switch trucks, because of a problem with our
safety alarm system. In our haste to get
to the funeral on time, we failed to transfer our raincoats and umbrellas to
our replacement vehicle. After having
been drenched the prior Saturday, Carole decided to forego the hike up the
hill, electing to stay with the truck.
By this time, it was obvious we would need to cancel our appointments. Leaving
our passengers without a ride back to town (there being no mini bus service
within kilometers of the village) was not an option. And in any event, we were already too far out
of Blantyre to make it back to our appointments on time. Under the circumstances, and anxious to see
the balance of the funeral activities, I opted to ignore, as best I could the
awful weather, and joined the long line of the funeral party slugging its way
up to the village. It was a 20 minute
hike to Mpemba, steadily uphill, past maize fields and small farms. The main trail (by this time, it was little
more than a country lane) meandered, crisscrossed by side trails heading off to
who knows where.
I was one
of the last to arrive in the village, which is perched on a small rocky knoll
in the hills, and consists of a handful of traditional mud brick homes,
outbuildings, and animal pens for hogs and cattle. So far from Blantyre, the village has no
electricity or plumbing or indoor water.
Mpemba is located in a high plain, surrounded by hills, just north of
where the highlands drop off, through a series of ridges, finally flowing down into
the bottom lands, where the Shirer River cuts through southern Malawi. (The recent rains have caused heavy flooding
in the bottom lands, where Chikwawa District is located, leaving over 300,000
homeless and, in some cases, leaving large villages isolated from the
neighboring communities and major roads).
But Mpemba has been spared those problems, sitting as it does high in
the uplands. Esther’s family home is
situated on one of the highest points in the village, surrounded by several
thatched roof outbuildings and sheds.
Just before reaching the flat shelf, upon which the family home was
built, is a final climb up a muddy ridge, which had, by the time I got there,
been churned into six inches of muck due to the rain and heavy traffic. Footing was tricky at best.
I would
estimate close to 200 to 300 people were assembled around Esther’s home, of
which approximately 40 to 50 were church members who had managed to make the
trek from Blantyre. The coffin was
placed in the family home, with 20 to 25 crowded inside, sitting cheek by jowl,
and another 10 to 15 clustered by the front door, many being church
members. The rest of the audience lined
the sides of four or five buildings surrounding the family home, seeking
whatever meager shelter from the constant rain they could under the slight
overhangs of the thatched roofs. Most were
without umbrellas. Initially I joined
one group of men leaning up against the mud wall of a home, but later, when
offered a chair, sat outside totally exposed to the rain. For the better part of two hours, I sat
hatless in the rain, wearing my gray pin stripe suit, with a white shirt, and
muted red tie, and certainly would have cut quite a strange sight for the
villagers. I was the only white and the
only Westerner in the audience.
But
curious though my appearance may have been, it was nothing more than an
oddity. For over two hours, the church
members, to give support to the family, sang one church hymn after
another. They had brought hymnals with
them. They were as close to a celestial
choir as one is apt to experience in this life.
Their music was simple but sublime.
Most of the lyrics and melodies would have been new to the
villagers—since the songs were largely drawn from traditional Mormon sources--
Come Come Ye Saint; O God, The Eternal Father; Guide Us, O Thou Great Jehovah;
How Great Thou Art; Abide With Me, Tis Eventide. The community listened spellbound. Once I can remember looking to the hills
across the way, seeing the clouds and mist swirling below us, and the rare
breaks of blue being suddenly engulfed again by more clouds and mist. It was a sacred setting and, at least, for a
while, I think most of us thought we were on sacred ground, consecrated by the
holiness of life and death, and blessed by the sweet spirit that can come from
heavenly music.
Shortly
before the village women brought dishes of food to the family and guests
(including the church members), there was one brief comic event. For a while I was standing near to the mud
ridge, just below the family home. When women,
especially the older ones, started up the ridge, or descended, I would offer a
hand of support. I am not sure it helped
much, but it seemed the right (and the proper) thing to do. Occasionally, another African would also
help. One woman, with a small child in
hand, started down the ridge. She offered the child to the African, who in turn
passed the infant on to me to hold, while he reached back to help the mother
with her footing. While the infant had
no problem being held by the African, he immediately shrieked when I took him
in my arms, and his utter panic and cries only subsided when he was passed back
to his mother. The villagers found the
event understandably humorous.
After a
couple of hours, and after the weather broke a bit, I called Carole on my cell phone,
encouraging her to walk up to the village.
I met her half way and we got back to the village just as they started a
short hillside program. Brother Banda
spoke, representing the church, and he was followed by various village elders
and family members, including the deceased’s uncle, a distinguished looking African,
with an impressive bearing, who was the family representative. Everything was said in Chichewa. A closing prayer was offered and then the
group broke up and proceeded back down the hill, in the direction we had come,
to the village gravesite, sequestered in a small copse of trees, off the main
path. While in transit, the church
sisters began singing again, but this time chanting some traditional Malawian
songs.
The
community encircled the burial site, family members in the foreground, church
members in front of the burial plot, and villagers in the back and on both
flanks. Again the church members sang
church hymns, and their singing was then followed by a few short remarks. One of the speakers was the village
elder. He was ancient in appearance,
standing less than five feet, wearing white tennis shirts, without laces, and
bearing a white knit cap (perhaps suggesting that he was a Muslim). The coffin
was lowered into the grave and six or more men covered the coffin with dirt,
using the traditional khasus as shovels, and built up a mound several feet
above the ground. The choir sing
multiple refrains of “God Be With You
Until We Meet Again,” as various family members and village leaders were
invited to come forward to place floral and other decorative wreathes on the
grave. Each time one of our church sisters
would carry a wreathe to the gravesite, bow before the guest as a sign of respect,
and extend the wreathe to the guest to place upon the grave.
For the
most part, the ceremonies were conducted without bursts of uncontrollable
emotion—but instead were done in a quiet but reverent manner. But the burial itself was obviously a painful
time for the family. Several family
members had difficulty containing their emotions, breaking into fits of
sobbing. After the burial itself was
completed, but before the end of the formal program, Esther’s sister, who we
were told was doing something in China, finally arrived at the cemetery. Unfortunately, she had been unable to get to
the village earlier, and had not had time to work through her feelings. As soon as she arrived, she sobbed uncontrollably,
threw herself upon the grave, and was largely inconsolable. After her mother wrapped her daughter in her arms, and constantly caressed her, she found a margin of peace and regained a little of her composure. Her unexpected outbursts triggered similar expressions
of emotions from several of the other women in the congregation. But finally she quieted, finding, I think, some
comfort in the singing of the church members. Her feelings were nonetheless still very close
to the surface as we reached the end of the gravesite service. Brother Mkandawire and Alex Tsegula of our
branch gave the dedicatory prayer and final prayer, bringing the afternoon’s service
to an end.
The
villagers then returned to their homes and the church members headed back to
the bus, trucks and cars for the return trip to Blantyre. On the way back, the rain picked up,
rendering the red clay roads almost impassible.
The bus was stuck for two hours and, because our car was blocked by the
bus, we in turn were delayed for more than two hours before getting back on a
paved road. The funeral was, I suspect,
a fusion combining elements of a traditional Malawian funeral with that of a Mormon
service.