A.
Will We Go Again?
1.
Possibility of Serving Several Missions
It is not uncommon for senior couples to serve several
missions in their elderly years, despite the pain of being separated from loved
ones, the expense and inconvenience, and declining health. To encourage seniors to go on missions, the
Church publishes regularly an extensive list of all the potential assignments
around the world, organized by mission type and geographic area, identifying
the unique skills, if any, required for the callings. The Church encourages healthy senior couples
to go on missions—despite the challenges.
And the opportunities for service open are constantly expanding, as the
Church’s needs become more global. The
Church needs missionaries in Africa to South Africa, Europe to the islands of
the Pacific, Europe to the United States; they are recruited to help in a wide variety
of capacities: humanitarian, public affairs, proselyting, member leader
support, self-reliance, military are among the many possible callings.
When we first arrived in Blantyre, two other senior couples
were in the city: the Reynolds, on their first mission, and the Merrills, then
serving their seventh mission, the fifth in Africa. In Lilongwe, there were then two other
senior couples: the Fisks, on their first mission, and the Stones, serving
together with their adult son Nathan, on their third mission, the second in
Africa. When the Merrills finished
their last mission, Elder Merrill, though robust and in good health, was
already in his early 80s, and the elder of the Stones in the late 70s. For most of us, it is almost unfathomable
the depth of commitment such couples must have to elect to return to the
mission field after having first served.
2.
Personal Sacrifices
Usually missionaries have some notion about what they are
getting themselves into before accepting their first mission call. Many of them served as missionaries in their
youth or have sent children off on missions; some have watched senior
missionaries working in their local areas or had relatives go out on senior missions. Often they talk to representatives in the
Church headquarters in Salt Lake City before going on missions to get more
intelligence. But however careful or
detailed their pre-mission advance preparations may be, invariably missions
bring their own surprises. Mission
assignments may be changed at the last moment—both as to where they serve and as
to the type of mission they have; they may find themselves busier or slower
than anticipated; language barriers may be more of a problem than they expect. They may get more or less guidance from
Mission Presidents or other local leaders.
Once in the mission field, they may struggle finding their niche, have
trouble connecting with local members, or find themselves isolated. They expect to miss children and
grandchildren, but still may be surprised by how painful the separation feels
or how much contact they can actually maintain through miles away. On the other hand, the positive surprises
may far outweigh the negative ones: local members may be more faithful,
proselyting opportunities richer, the association with the younger missionaries
richer than anything they could have imagined.
It takes a while for all missionaries to find their rhythm.
Faithful mission service requires a level of self-sacrifice
hard to envision for those who have not served. No longer are days spent in self-indulgence. Now as we approach the end of our mission,
we have a better feel for what it means to serve—the sacrifices inherent in
leaving family behind,[1] dedicating one’s self to
full-time mission service, setting aside, for a season, the pursuit of what we
like to do best (indeed, what we may have worked to be able to do for ourselves
for years). As a consequence, we have a
far greater appreciation for those who go out to serve a second or even a third
time, much less the crazy record of service the Merrills posted. It is not an exaggeration to see in the
lives of those dedicated and often humble servants of God a level of
faithfulness and piety the rest of us can barely imagine. Carole and I count it as a blessing to have
met a few such faithful servants of the Lord.
3.
Questions About Future Service
Even early in our mission, others (primarily other senior
missionaries, occasionally members) asked if we intended to serve a second
mission. We are startled when first
asked—as we had only been in Malawi a few months and the question seemed to us
premature. How could we possibly know about our interest
in serving a second mission, when the first one had just started? Surely we would need time to process our
experience, to re-connect with our children and grandchildren, and to see if we
could figure out the contours of a meaningful, rewarding post-mission
life. All missionaries, young and old,
go through a transition period when returning home and need time to decompress. Only after working through those
experiences, would we be in position to assess how strong the urge was to go on
a second mission.
Upon reflection, however, it is not surprising why others
asked us about future service. Without
hesitation, from the very beginning Carole and I have felt, and openly shared,
that Malawi is the perfect experience for us.
We love virtually everything about being here—the unbelievably good
weather, the faithful members, the cultural experience. Serving in Malawi we consider a true
blessing, and feel as though our mission call was inspired, feelings we freely
shared with others.[2] The good things about missionary service
however have not blinded us to the challenges—plagues of flying termites, being
tormented by mosquitos at night, water shortages, electrical outages, inventory
shortages in the grocery stores, the required dedication at the expense of our
vanity and self-interest. Yet, on
balance, the experience has been rewarding, though hard. So it
is hardly surprising others would wonder if we had already considered extending
our mission or accepting a second call.
Though none of our children back home have asked the question, several
of them, we imagine, have wondered about our future plans as well.
Over the last couple of days, Carole and I have discussed
why people are curious about the future plans of senior missionaries. Probably the overwhelming sentiment is that
of curiosity itself. Certainly those
outside of the Church wonder—why would anyone go in the first place---is the
experience rewarding—how hard is it, especially when the mission involves
living and working in Africa—is it
dangerous—do you think you are doing any good—how painful is it to be away from
family—can one stay in reasonable touch through Skype and the phone—how good is
the local health care and could one get decent medical attention if the need
were to arise? Even if they understand
better the motivation for going on a mission, members have many of the same
questions. It is not a stretch to assume
senior missionaries may want to serve again if they have a good experience in the
mission field.
Many with whom we speak have personal questions in mind that
they don’t share with us. They wonder
how it would be for “them” if they were to go on a mission. Each question they ask is really intended to
probe how they would respond if placed in the same position as the senior
missionaries? Would they be happy
serving a mission? How much does it
cost? How hard is it to lease one’s
home and will one find the home in good repair when returning home? Would it be hard serving in Malawi or, for
that matter anywhere else in Africa?
Should they be concerned about their health—do African countries have
qualified, experienced physicians and good health care facilities? Is the mission experience physically
demanding? Will they be required to
keep to the same rigorous schedule required of the younger missionaries? How hard would it be to leave behind
family? Can one stay in touch with kids
back in the United States—how difficult is to work around the time zone
differences and how reliable about are the internet and phone connections? How challenging
is it for couples to be in such constant contact? Is
there a concern about contracting malaria, tuberculosis, yellow fever or diseases? How comfortable are mission apartments? Are the local people responsive to the
gospel message? Is it rewarding working
with local members? How often will one
be asked to speak in Church or help training local members and leaders? Most of these questions will come only to the
minds of Church members, but I think even non-members have similar
questions. Hence, when putting
questions to senior missionaries, they are really testing the edges of their
own feelings about charitable service—would they like it; could they see
themselves making a similar commitment; how hard would it really be. Is it something they should consider as an
option as they approach the retirement years?
Are they up for the challenge or adventure, however they view it?
Some, when asking about missionary service, have something
quite different in mind. They ask
questions not as a way of thinking about their own options, but instead as a
way of testing the real motives or experience of the senior missionaries. They cannot imagine themselves, or for that
matter anyone else, doing what the senior missionaries did. It is really outside of the ken of their
understanding and experience. Yet they are
intrigued and want to know how genuine the missionary experience was. Did the
missionaries feel or think or do anything that is really out of the realm of
the normal? Did they, for example,
experience God differently than others do?
Did they learn truths others struggle to learn? Were they changed at all or will they return
home pretty much the way they left? Is
there a spiritual world out there that people can really access, but that is inaccessible
to most because they don’t make the effort?
Have they ever seen the hand of God working? Do senior missionaries come back purged of traditional
biases and prejudices? Putting
questions to senior missionaries helps to test their testimony, commitment,
level of faith, generosity, and charity.
Perhaps, it is precisely for these reasons that questions about
missionary service— including the threshold question of whether one might serve
again — tend to place senior missionaries “on the spot.” Intuitively, they know such questions directly
or indirectly probe how much they have changed. What,
for example, does it mean when a senior missionary claims to love his/her
mission, but has no interest in serving again? Is the missionary dissembling or tired or tied too much to the things of the world?
I can think of another reason why a few (most probably the tiniest
of minorities) would be interested in whether senior missionaries might serve
again and might pose a number of questions about missionary service. Some always view the world in terms of
“themselves.” Nothing is really about
others, but only about others to the extent it reflects upon them—others are used
solely as a measuring stick to compare their own accomplishments or vaunt their
self-importance. They are those who don’t really listen to
others; but are thinking of a response even before others have finished
talking. They don’t take pleasure in others’
achievements or experience. Secretly
they are pleased when others fail or fall short or prove to be human. Though they would never acknowledge it, they
constantly look to find fault with others and delight in their shortcomings and
misfortune. They feel taller when they can show others are
shorter. Questions about a mission are
one way of probing to find potential flaws in the returning
missionaries—showing they to be not nearly as good, self-sacrificing or
dedicated as they think or as they may appear to others. One would hope few in the Church suffer from
this affliction, but I think everyone has met someone like this.
4.
Will We Go Again?
It really is premature to answer or address the question—it is
a question for another time. Carole and
I are healthy (at least appear to be, subject to post-mission medicals), have a
few adventures left in us, and both are anxious to make productive use of the
good years we have ahead. We have sorely
missed time with our family and need to reconnect. In some ways I have found serving much harder than anticipated. Hopefully, our mission service has changed us
for the better, but what this means in terms of future service we don’t yet
know. Of one thing however I am certain—it was roughly 40 years between my first
mission—as a young man to Northern Germany—and my second mission, with Carole to
Malawi, and if it takes me another 40 years to get ready for
my next mission, that mission will be quite different than either of the first two.
[1]
Skype makes a huge difference, but even with it, contact with family back home
is not easy—connections are poor or spotty, working around time zone
differences complicated.
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